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diff --git a/articles/cigarettes-and-sawdust.html b/articles/cigarettes-and-sawdust.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1539530 --- /dev/null +++ b/articles/cigarettes-and-sawdust.html @@ -0,0 +1,139 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> + +<head> + <!-- PAGE SETUP--> + <title>peten.ca | blog posts</title> + <link rel="icon" type="image/x-icon" href="/images/petemcgeenobg.png"> + <meta charset="utf-8"> + <meta content='width=device-width; initial-scale=1.0; maximum-scale=1.0; user-scalable=no;' name='viewport' /> + <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width" /> + + <!-- CSS --> + <link href="/css/blog-post.css" rel="stylesheet"> + <link href="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/bootstrap@5.3.3/dist/css/bootstrap.min.css" rel="stylesheet" + integrity="sha384-QWTKZyjpPEjISv5WaRU9OFeRpok6YctnYmDr5pNlyT2bRjXh0JMhjY6hW+ALEwIH" crossorigin="anonymous"> + + <!-- JS --> + <script src="https://code.jquery.com/jquery-3.7.1.js" + integrity="sha256-eKhayi8LEQwp4NKxN+CfCh+3qOVUtJn3QNZ0TciWLP4=" crossorigin="anonymous"></script> + <script src="/scripts/peten.js"></script> + <script src="https://unpkg.com/typed.js@2.1.0/dist/typed.umd.js"></script> + + <!-- FONTS --> + <link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.googleapis.com"> + <link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com" crossorigin> + <link + href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Montserrat:ital,wght@0,100..900;1,100..900&family=Ubuntu+Sans:ital,wght@0,100..800;1,100..800&display=swap" + rel="stylesheet"> + +</head> + +<body class="font-montserrat fade-in"> + <header> + + + <div class="header text-dark"> + <a href="/blog.html">← BLOG POSTS</a> + <span class="date"> + JANUARY 29, 2025 + </span> + </div> + </header> + + <main class="blog-post"> + <h1>CIGARETTES AND SAWDUST</h1> + + <p> + <i>First four months as a carpenter. Trying to join the army. Caffeine and cigarettes. Career prospects. My + life as it currently stands. More news at 11. + </i> + <br> <br> + You know, they say life's two greatest tragedies are not getting what you want and getting what you want. + Attribute that to Oscar Wilde. Anyways, here's the situation. I decided in August that I wanted + to join the army. It's a decision that took some time, but I made it and I trust in my judgement. I called + the recruiting office to find out about my application, and learned that it would take me until the Fall + semester of 2025 to start going to school again. I ask my recruiter "hey, man - what should I do for the + next year?" + <br> <br> + "Get a job, volunteer, try to strengthen your portfolio.. up to you." + <br> <br> + Which, I'll admit, is a completely fair response given such an odd question. In September, I went to + Toronto. Experienced the joys of driving there, saw Weezer live, met my buddy Josh at UofT, lived it up + large in the big city, and then flew back. No job, no school, no nothing when I got back to town. + <br> <br> + So I figured I'd try to get a job at the Pasqua; seemed like a good gig, honest work, good OT and looks + clean on a resumé. After all - I knew someone at the Pasqua. I could do a good job until maybe Summer of + 2025, get out, do a little more travelling, and then go and do what I had actually planned to do. When that + didn't work, I played Escape From Tarkov: Arena for two weeks and job hunted every day until I finally + secured another job. I just went with the first offer thrown at me. + <br> <br> + And so I became an Apprentice Carpenter. Seemed like my second-best option, when working at a cutesy coffee + shop and getting paid 23.50$ an hour as an office administrator clearly were out of reach for a man of my + qualifications. The first day, I came in like Spongebob - I thought I knew everything. I didn't want to be a + great framer, but I wanted to be good. So long as I wasn't the worst. + <br> <br> + + After about three weeks, I got a voicemail. Pasqua Hospital. We've seen your resume, and your numerous + applications, and someone here is vouching for you. We'd like you to come in for an interview. Checked my + email inbox, and find an email from a landscaping company. Same thing. + <br> <br> + I don't know what I thought I was doing, but I said "no." Keep my name and resume for your use, and if ever + I am free again, I'll contact you and we can start this little thing of ours up again. I liked being called + "faggot" and "retard" at work. I liked being incompetent. It fit me, somehow. I wanted to destroy whatever + it is I was and begin again. I liked hearing stories from my coworkers and my boss about the life. About + this world + that I didn't know. Ego death. Meet interesting people, do interesting things. That's how it's gonna be. + Work + hard, get paid + my cut, and shut up about it. + <br> <br> + I thought it would get better after a little while. Which it did, but -- and I'm ashamed to say it.. I may + have been a little naïve in my read on the situation. It was not all I had imagined it to be in my head, and + what I had seen from those EXTREMELY competent framers on YouTube. Curse that bastard Framing Beast for + being so good at his job. He made me want to be him. + <br> <br> + In Joseph Conrad's <i>Heart Of Darkness,</i> the main character, Marlow, goes on a mission into the "Heart + of Darkness" (up the Congo River) in order to find a mysterious Mr. Kurtz, who has become a god to the local + tribals of the Congo and "gone native." Marlow at first thinks that Kurtz may have gone mad, but when the + two finally meet, and Kurtz' health begins to decline, Marlow starts to understand the vision that Kurtz had + for the world. Kurtz' fame as an ivory trader at his post upstream and his legion of supporters, it all + makes sense. + <br> <br> + That's how I feel about my boss. I can never get a good read on whether or not he likes me, or if I'm even + doing a good job, but I see the vision. + I can't quit because I want to see it through. I'm done when he says we're done. This might be coming off as + melodramatic; which it is, but come on! Have some love for art and writing. + <br> <br> + Anyways, after the New Year, it kinda became clear that this whole carpentry thing is unsustainable. I went + to Tim's after work one day to see Boh and Vincent, and the first words out of Boh's mouth were "Wow, you + look like shit." + <br> <br> + I'm not sad, really. Just a little bit peeved. When my teachers said "Peter, you have so many open doors" in + reference to my career paths, my future as an individual, I didn't think I would be installing doors. Or + windows, for that matter. + <br> <br> + TLDR: Trying to join the army is taking longer than I had expected. Tried to get a job, found a different + one, deluded myself into thinking it'd be great fun, it isn't really. Got offered the job I had originally + wanted, and turned it down. Such is life. + <br> <br> + All the best. + <br> <br> + Peter + </p> + </main> + + + </div> + + <footer class="footer"> + Copyright Peter Nguyen <span id="copyright-year"></span>. All rights reserved. + </footer> + + <!-- BOOTSTAP JS --> + <script src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/bootstrap@5.3.3/dist/js/bootstrap.bundle.min.js" + integrity="sha384-YvpcrYf0tY3lHB60NNkmXc5s9fDVZLESaAA55NDzOxhy9GkcIdslK1eN7N6jIeHz" + crossorigin="anonymous"></script> +</body> + +</html>
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