ЗВЕЗДА ПО ИМЕНИ СОЛНЦЕ

+ Approaching the end of my first term. Thinking about my future, among other things. + +

+ Welcome back. +

+ Here's the situation. +

+ Looking back on the post I originally wrote when I came out to Victoria, I'll be the first to admit that the + situation has not necessarily developed in my favour. I'm not really sure what I was on when I wrote all of + that stuff, but I guess it has worn off. The years have not been gentle. +

+ The last few months have shaped up to be a pretty mediocre semester. I guess I used to be a good student, + and now I'm kinda washed. It happens. It's not like I do nothing, but I figure all those years of not giving + a shit in highschool have caught up with me. Nevertheless, I remain. I'll be passing for the most part with + A's and B's across the board, and somewhere around a C for the ones that are a bit more desperate (looking + at you, PHYS110). I'm not even sure who reads these, but you could consider this a cautionary tale. If you + don't like me and read these to laugh at me, just know that we'll all be judged for our actions when the + time comes. +

+ I'm excited to come home, but I know I won't stay. I came out here for a reason, and I intend to see it + through. For now, I'll just be counting down the days until my next semester. I'm not yet burnt-out, but + definitely bored. +

+ In highschool, I tried real hard to be "that guy." I cared probably too much about my + grades and how I was doing, and stopped at nothing (often unsustainably) to do well. I never wrote that AP + exam retrospective, but I will say that I endured a lot of sleepless nights to get things done -- often at the + cost of my relationships with the people around me. +

+ Now, I don't really care. I feel a lot of apathy towards the University, and especially the "politics" (if + you could call it that) of tenure, registration, money -- all that. I know why I'm here and I don't really + mind what I'm doing, but I could care less if it was all stripped away from me tomorrow. It was between + staying in Regina and making a comfortable 25.50$ an hour, or coming out here and choosing to suffer. I + chose to take the suffering. I know what I'm doing. +

+ I often feel ashamed about the man that I am becoming. Good intentions only go so far when poor execution + has led me to places I wouldn't even go with a loaded gun. Regrettably, this might be my first real negative + post. I always try to stay optimistic in these, because I don't want to set a bad example or bitch and moan + about my problems to an audience that I don't even really interact with. So, I'll say this: at the end of + the day, no feeling is final, and you matter. The only thing I need answer to is my own mediocrity, and I + worry about you, friend. +

+ On a more positive note, I've been working on that "band" type thing that I was hyping up on my Linkedin. + I'll also use this section to shamelessly plug my Linkedin. Let's connect, twin. Let's all get internships + at Fortune 500 companies. Sorry for the non-sequitur. Anyways, Brett and I have worked a + little on some originals, and I hope to eventually release them. It'd be the first interesting project that + I've had outside of school in a pretty long while. Shoutout to Fisheye, the hottest band on Regina's + relatively niche (but still excellent) music scene. I haven't been interested in making music in a long time. +

+ That's all for now. Sorry for the depressing tone. I hope I'll have some more interesting or uplifing things to say to you in + the future. +

+ Stay safe, Chief. +

+ Your friend, +

+ Peter. +